I’ve only been a few places in the world that have torn me into this many even, beautiful, terrible, curled pieces. The spiral of land is much like the spirals we’ve been moving toward, and I feel disoriented when I see a photograph of where I am from above. I’m not sure why.
I’m quietly sitting in front of the windows, looking out onto the sea and making practical headway on the new ideas that I had while we were working in the Cambridge library, ideas about yet more new ways to separate sections of beadwork cleanly.
One of them is for cloning any form of leaping winged or zig-zag shape by simply sketching onto a form with one round of beads the desired configuration, and then making its living component in place, to size, and letting it dance off cleanly, leaving only the sketch (or more precisely the idea) behind. This is good work, and changes everything for some small subset of humans, but is essentially unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
What I’m really still hanging up on is that I find it difficult to believe that even six months ago none of us could think of one way to clone that form easily, and now it’s obvious to even the casual observer that there are at least six good ways to do it with no coding errors or use of advanced techniques, no Exploding Round.
But it is the same with every solving. And I am not annoyed in the slightest that all of my previous innovations have been rendered moot (or even foolish) by the new tactics. It was all good work, each timestep, and each thing was better than what we had when we started. Wait, that’s a lie. I’m incredibly annoyed. Why couldn’t I see the structure?
My body is rearranging itself again, and I wish I could measure how. Whatever is going on here, it won’t be much longer now, that’s all I know, but I have no idea what is coming. An idea? A structure? A solution to a problem? A human being? An event? Even positive events can be unsettling, if enough of them happen very fast.
And again, although no one ever engages with me with this, I want to know why, if something is so easy to see, it can remain cloaked in plain view.
There is an answer here beyond the obvious.