In my dreams, I am living summer. It’s probably a piece of me from later today, after I sign and submit the final Volume I press galleys. Temptation is strong to just sign them all without a final review and move on with life, but that would be undignified after all of this work.
I’m achy and thrashed, in and out, but that’s just to be expected. It’s completely normal. In eight weeks, this feeling will be forgotten, and the happiness of delivering content will fill me. This is a perfect time to look not only in the mirror, to see where I am putting noise in place of signal, but at the mirror image of what makes me happy.
Administrative work is in my crosshairs right now; I’ve singled it out of the herd of distractions and positively identified it as the down side of my life in society. It dogs days, it steals pieces of peace, it eats little bites of my mental rivers, it is the rock that I am tied to and cannot seem to cut away from, but I see that this is mostly because I am linked administratively with other humans, and so am often prevented from acting swiftly. Things drag on, papers useless and useful stack up.
I am infested with determination. I must get this soulless section of my life, dreaded Admin, smaller.
mouse and hedgehog in glass boxes, Museum of Natural History, Harvard
I realize that I am really hungry; twelve hours ago, at 10 pm., I was deciding I was too beat to walk out for dinner. Right now, I won’t make the same mistake. The morning was cold, but I’ll bet the day has turned sparklingly summery and that in the fringes out here in the South End a girl with a manuscript can still get a table.
In Cambridge there are suddenly so many people, milling about, each campus is full of tours, freshers with their parents, many people feeling awkward in new spaces. I can only imagine the malls, the Target store. Everyone will be out shopping this weekend- it’s a tax holiday in Massachusetts, presumably to help people handle school supplies and college move-ins.
This is a day, a week, to walk the edges of the hive of humanity.