feeling our way

My entire life has been a series of experiments.

I arrived, I found myself amongst these people, in this place. I was arranged and I arranged myself to stand out, but also to blend in if need be. I am strong and healthy. I protect myself from psychological bullshit, but I am physically brave and helpful.

I watch, I think, I puzzle over strange dichotomies. There is no shortage.

Periodically I reject things, people, systems, places. I can participate or not participate in other people’s systems as I see fit.


For me, watching people or buildings or any system is like watching a frequency resolve (or not resolve) into a clean wave pattern. Either the lines are going to come together for me/with me or they aren’t. My own system is the easiest to balance; I treat it EXACTLY like image processing,ruthlessly examining extreme inputs. Some fringe information might be crucial, like a spice in a dish, some other might be simply an annoyance that the entire system must compensate for.

The latter, not so groovy.

The way humans work is that suddenly, unexpectedly, the math changes, and tired ideas fall away like dust. We see this in science, in legislation. People reach a point where the common reality is no longer making a satisfying experience or a clean pattern, and they simply adjust as a group and fix things by changing the assumptions.

Manias take hold some times, at other times, reason.

Night WIndow

The tides of fashion please us, because they mimic what we do as a single living entity, morphing, adjusting, expanding, changing it up.

As I move into this next phase of my life, it’s time for me to examine all of my own structure, and to see what needs to be nurtured, protected, what needs to be moved out.

6 thoughts on “feeling our way

  1. Beautiful, haunting, and prescient images.

    Sometimes those simple fixes are really more arduous than is necessary, helpful, and/or healthful. There are casualties; we are imperfect. But when people are tired, truly tired of the status quo (or a problem) and are willing to look hard (work for solutions), yes, those tired ideas do fall away like dust, melting away the insulation of comfort or the hardness of ice. Isn’t this described somehow by thermodynamics? Or am I getting something critically wrong?

  2. I received my poster today and I love it and can’t stop looking at it.

    You are always fine-tuning yourself. Most people don’t have the insight into themselves that you do and that is such a gift, but I know that you are aware of that fact.

    • Aw. So glad you love your poster.

      I think what I’m realizing is that it isn’t so much about fine-tuning myself (although that’s important work too) it’s more recognizing when me being in a system is not helpful for the system.

      Sometimes, enough small things change that the math that once worked just doesn’t anymore, and it can be hard to know what’s wrong. Perhaps easier to know that it isn’t going to be magically “fixed”.

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