summer nights, restless skies

Joyce on the terrace, Paris, 2012

Even though this photo was taken in France, I remember when Joyce Rooks brought me a Zanghou Chicken once from LA. Ever time I hear this song, I’m back on the Monterey bay, licking garlic off of my fingers, laughing about how things go.

I’m gonna take you up to Glendale (yeah)
take you for a real good meal

Perhaps Prince Charming sensed my somewhat overwrought background state today, saying goodbye to everything in that strange way I have of someone who knows that she will never be back. But I won’t.

I am just as surely saying goodbye to this girl that I am, this girl in a summer’s dress talking to the birds and the cats and feeling overcome with joy because this lizard picked this day of all days to finally show me his blue.

Prince Charming Jul 4

I am a storm at sea inside myself today, but working steadily nonetheless. It costs so much more to work this way; I would like to calm down and not mind so much that I am leaving.

The monsoon started yesterday, there was rain on my car, I stood in it until I was wet all through, down to my childhood. The weather outside is warm and whippy and windy and cool and rainy and not rainy, and there is electricity in every breath. I feel one with the sky, but it is not a calm sky.

first rain on the Miata

We had a little party this week.

The nights have been perfect. I don’t know how tonight will be… it’s cloudy and kind of damp, not the best night for fireworks. But we are heading off to a pool party in our swimsuits, with wine and fruit and whatever thoughts we can stick together…

I wish I were more relaxed; there is just so much going on and that I am holding in my mind that I don’t know how to say anything, and so I am trying to close my mouth and open my eyes, and make work happen.

this one hurts

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