back in tucson

It’s hot hot hot here; I think the forecast is for 108 today.

Last night it was about 95 in the house and that was as much as I was willing to do; I turned the AC on. Ah well. I held out a good long while… I think I’ll still be able to stay open-doors for the mornings, at least until the rains start, and it steams up.

cactus pads

Right now I am in one of those times where I am between stations; all forward progress is completely up to me.

If I were to stand still, then so would everything that I am involved in. Without me to drive it, my life (and most things in it) would grind to a halt. There are a lot of people who wouldn’t be comfortable with that, and even I sometimes feel a little queasy if I stop to think about it, which I am mostly smart enough not to do.

This a time where I imagine the things that I will do next; I am filling in boxes on my calendar, that mysterious tool that predicts and perhaps describes the future. Whatever I can dream, I can do. People always make going places and doing things about “the money” but I find that (unless I am miserable somewhere) my affairs run about the same way wherever I go; the song remains the same, I can earn enough to get by, and I don’t need much anyway. It’s more a question of what than how. I never worry about how. What a waste of time. “How” is about doing, doing only takes grit. The dreaming is the trick.

I fantasize that the downsizing I plan to do before winter will be a good thing for everyone; me, society, etc. I’m trying to figure out how much space I can reasonably shrink down to. Artists and makers have the challenge of storing materials, of needing workspace.

Ideally I won’t need much…

Ferry hair!

5 thoughts on “back in tucson

  1. Yes, indeed… I’m not at all certain that there is such a thing as standing still. I do know that the harder I try the better I fall, splat! So I catch myself, readjust, reevaluate, decide not to fret, and go on. I should make a pair of beaded blinders for keeping out all those “what are you gonna do when…” sillinesses. I’ve seen the results of capitulation, compromise, pseudo-caution, in real barely-live people; it’s not pretty. Courage is a muscle that can atrophy with disuse and no amount of coin can revive. At least that’s what Bryan Ferry and I say.

    • Do you know, I agree with you that courage is a muscle, not a trait. People who refuse to develop it are cheating themselves as much as people who let themselves go soft in the arms or soft in the head.

      PS- I BOUGHT A RECORD TODAY! A real one. Am treating the Gerrard turntable to rejuvenation surgery.

  2. Top ho, as Terry-Thomas would say! Hopefully all it needs is a new needle (they usually do after 50 years or so…) Now you can really rock the house!

    I thought of another one: If you want “certainty” you’ll find it in the dictionary between “calcified” and “chained”

  3. It’s one of the bon mots I plan on providing my students at the Olympia Bead Retreat in a couple weeks. I might ask the B&B owners to put them on their pillows at night like a mint. Or with a mint.

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