the day has come: this is fucking awesome

When I turned 40, I began wearing small scarves around my neck, very jaunty, very French. I tied them into little bows; it was like instead of being depressed about it all, I simply wrapped myself like a gift. I was a woman of a certain age; only the very youngest of lovers would be age-inappropriate. Now there is a whole new suite of things I ought not do, but another suite that I can; soon I will get senior discounts, for example, but decorum requires another inch on my hemline.

birthday morning

Straight men suffer no such impertinence in the mathematics of aging; as they get older they are encouraged to take younger lovers; the girls themselves encourage it.

I’ve always loved older men. When I was 8, I fell desperately in love with a 17 year old boy. At 18, I excitedly took a lover who, at 42, seemed so old to me that secretly (and quite seriously) I worried that he was too elderly to become erect. When I was in my 20s, I had a lover in his 50s. I was as lucky to have them as they were to play with me. I have few regrets in love; if I do, they are mostly just regrets for the lovers I did not have the pleasure of enjoying. I did well, though, I really did, and then when I finally settled down (which was fairly recently or not yet depending on whose stick you use) I settled down with someone who is so magnificent that he defies description.

Bill is nine years older than me; this works out beautifully in the game of love, as he is enough older than me to meet my preference but close enough that we are essentially contemporaries. We fit together like halves of one of those really good pears, the juicy ones, that come wrapped in gold foil in a sturdy box.

Love is so important to me; I’m so grateful to have so much of it. It’s like the sax sound in life.

Swimming pool eyes.

Bill at his MIT graduation

12 thoughts on “the day has come: this is fucking awesome

  1. Happy Birthday!!! Yes, senior discounts start to kick in around age 55, I believe… However, DECORUM? Really? I turned 60 recently and would advise you to take the word, “decorum” and toss it in the nearest bin. It’s someone else’s idea of how we should look and behave and has never been a part of my life. I believe I’m the better for it.

    • AMEN to that “decorum” bull! Whenever I hear my younger co-workers comment on how they think it’s inappropriate for someone over 40 to wear clothing that might reveal a little skin, it sticks in my crawl! ( The youngins’ of course get advise!)
      Kate, the happiest of bithdays to you!
      p.s. I got $20 in my pocket!

  2. Happy birthday Kate! I love this post. My husband is 10 years older than me; perfect, however, I almost never think of age. I have had lovers/boyfriends/ex husband (only one!!) who have been older, younger and the same age as me, and all I can say is that age seems to matter a lot less than I thought when I was younger. All in all, I am happy that I did kiss (or, should I say, shag; we are all adults here!) quite a few frogs before I got the prince, I am glad that I didn’t meet him until I was 30. That we both had lived and learned quite a lot before we found each other. My husband just gets hotter with age, and I think I do to, life experience and wrinkles are sexy.

Comments are closed.