the lawnmowers sing on

If I ever could love any humans more than the Wolves, I can’t fathom it.

I love them like I love the desert sky, without reserve and without measure. If my heart should swell, Grinchlike, I would only love them harder.

Boys on Couch II
two boys, a very long time ago indeed

It is also true that I love the end of each day in St. Louis because it means it’s over; of the finite number, there is one less day in which my family life is defined by place, this place.

Some things (like St. Louis) got brought into my system by other events (like Bill) that were so probable that they filled multiple dimensions, they sent siren songs into my Time in all directions, recognizable and insistent. He turned out to be inseparable from Place; very odd and unexpected. I never feel right here in Place but I feel exactly right in Time, which is very much more important in the equation. Because if you are off in Time, well. Things can go badly wrong. Anyone knows that.

When I visualize the effect of my actions or thoughts, they look like one of my bangles, a snapshot of cause and effect.

Bangles as snapshots in time, Kate McKinnon CGB Vol II 2013

Simple, focused thoughts, intentions or fears make simple, powerful shapes in time and space; very effective.

More ephemera and more thoughts, more complex shapes.

I think of the bangles as frozen moments in time, when cause or intention declares itself as a thing with form, unveils its intricacy or directness.

It makes me wonder if scattered, multitasking, high baud rate people, having more structure and thereby more possibilities in their probabilities, have a bit more wiggle room with how things settle out in life, more chances to put a bit of spin on their return.

3 thoughts on “the lawnmowers sing on

  1. Bring an umbrella to Chi town…rain, rain go away! Heading into the city tomorrow, really bad stuff starting around 6:00 Thursday night.
    Still, have a wonderful time. Hope you have a view of Marina City!
    Enjoy the exquisite sky line, still takes my breath away. Try going, if the weather is clear, to the Sears Tower (I don’t care what the hell they call it now) and go where they have a glass step out…standing on GLASS, maybe 110 floors up, for a view. Yipes! Not me! Makes the Saturn V tiny! Take a picture, okay?
    Just enjoy your time with Bill & the concerts.
    XXOO

    • We’ve been meaning to do the Sears Tower thing! We are only in town for the night but will try to get up there.
      So scary-cool. Going out in the Toronto needle freaked me out! But in a good way.
      : )

  2. There is not one ‘good life’ similar to another. We all just need to live it and find what is best for ourselves… it will never be exactly what we initially thought because we (mostly) have initially been implemented with thoughts and expectations from our parents; then the patterns confusing relatives, friends, society, religion, etc. add more confusion to ours, and in the end, (if attentive enough, if searching hard enough, or being honest enough with ourselves) we discover our own truth, which results in taking decisions and choices nobody else could have thought of, or even could make…Unique individuals imply unique decisions. Some very rare persons know their needs from the start and don’t deviate… some persons forget and later say “I knew that from the beginning”… etc… I think that you are pretty true to yourself. Maybe this is what life is about? Juggling with the equation ‘being good’ without becoming un-true to ourselves?

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