Wow

I’ll bet about 100 posts on my blog are titled “Whoa!” or “Wow!” or something like it.

I have a lot of experiences, and a lot of them make me say “Holy fuck!” As I constantly reformat almost everything I think and say in ways that will hopefully not offend, I rarely title posts “Holy Fuck!” but I want to. It’s confusing. I’ve been aware for some time that trying to self-edit is about 90% a waste of time. Editing for style and presentation and dangling modifiers is good. Editing truth is not.

Editing profanity is a mixed bag. It makes some people more comfortable, but I’m not sure how to weight that. People can be comfortable in their own spaces. I decided a long time ago that I am under no obligation to make the diary of my life an easy place for the overly religious or those afraid of language to relax. But I still try, because I’m stupid, and I want to be nice. I want to be kind.

“I lost my shape, trying to act casual”

I must tell you that I have had one of the most intriguing and mind-opening twelve hours of my life, spent entirely alone except for an hour and a half at acupuncture and some hours with the company of the Internets and/or watching The Mentalist, and looking at the introductory section to Jean Power’s new book. Which is mindbendingly perfect.

Despite having nothing obvious actually happen to me, I am not the same person that I was at this time yesterday. A lot of things fell away; there is less of me than ever, and the feeling of strength is incredible.

I am less interested in ever in all of the reasons people give for the stupid things that they do, me included. Doing is all that matters. Everything else is dust. I don’t give a shit why you are sticking with your marriage of convenience or living in the place that drains your soul or going to a job you hate. I say to myself and also to you, stop wasting time talking about why you can’t do things that you obviously can and should do, or why you haven’t yet stopped doing things that are bad for you.

Just fucking do. Or do not. Whether it is taking a nap or changing your life, for Christ’s sake, do it or shut the hell up.

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Facts are simple and facts are straight 
Facts are lazy and facts are late 
Facts all come with points of view 
Facts don’t do what I want them to 
Facts just twist the truth around 
Facts are living turned inside out 
Facts are getting the best of them 
Facts are nothing on the face of things 
Facts don’t stain the furniture 
Facts go out and slam the door 
Facts are written all over your face 
Facts continue to change their shape

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20 thoughts on “Wow

  1. Hi Kate, I’m checking out Penelope Trunk and wondered if you had read Cheryl Strayed; I wanted to get you one of her Write Like a Motherfucker coffee mugs but I figured you probably have lots of mugs.
    Anyway, aside from her book, she has a column on The Rumpus. I like her a lot, she reminds me a bit of you.
    XO

    • No, I just don’t have time to read blogs right now; I only write one because it’s the only record of my life that I keep. But I will put her on my list, and I need a Write Like A Motherfucker T-shirt, just the words, in Courier font, you know. That would rock!

      • Oh yes, those are my favorite. Small works in most tops for me (34 bust). Are you a v-neck person? What color do you think?

        We’re still here; the movers came Monday and the car went last week. It’s the aerobed and bicycle power for two more weeks, until we fly out the evening of the 6th.

        It’s been a fairly Rube Goldbergian process, this move. But I think we’re going to pull it off.

          • Oh excellent! We are on the same page.

            We’re still working toward a snow season–Morgan has an interview in Lake Tahoe, and he just got a callback from Flagstaff! He has an application in at Vail, but hasn’t heard. They don’t seem to be in a hurry to fill the job.

            The idea is to get ourselves back and spend the winter snowboarding/looking for jobs in SD. The utmost ideal would be seasonal/registry both places so we can go back and forth. I feel oddly compelled to justify this idea with some people, but thankfully not with you.

            So, are we using Cafepress? Or is there a better place these days?

          • If you have a SCREEN PRINTER then I guess we can wait six months. We will still be alive, likely, and if not, we’ll need them to say Died Like A Motherfucker instead anyway.

          • Ha Ha! I will leave the necessary instructions, just in case we need the post-mortem version.

            Yep, SD=San Diego. Leucadia is our favorite place. Damned expensive, though. Even worse than when we left in 2010!

    • He said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”

      I would have quoted him, except what he said is crap. TRY is everything. To try and fail is far nobler than to not try. I really thought about it, go with Yoda, don’t go with Yoda….

  2. Just hearing Yoda’s voice say “fucking” in my head was worth it for the chuckle alone.

    I don’t think he was slamming the “try” part. Making the attempt aka trying is really actually doing, no? Even if the attempt is a failure. To never attempt/try is the “do not” part of all of that. Or, as my SO (rocket/robot builder) says, “Fail fast, fail cheap” then you start from that point.

    Keep the faith.

    r.

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